,
July 23, 2010.
is it reali worth it to give up everiting for a guy whom u lurve wif all ur heart but aparentli the feelin is not mutual. i've told myself to NOT eva fall head over heels wif some1 and onli to marry some1 hu actuali lurve mi more den i lurve him. but wif all dat is goin ard mi. i wonder if i will make the same mistake. to throw everiting for a guy. to not care abt fam n frens hu cares abt u bcos u believe dat he lurves u too. sometimes i tink u cannot reali control relationships n yes u make mistakes. ppl suffer. heart broken n wats not. n sometimes i tink dat ppl will learn from their past mistakes. but aparentli, i tink wrong. to b truthful. im scared shitless. will i eva go thru dat path. will i eva find 'the one'. will i make the same mistakes. will i suffer. u jus wonder dat tings will all go smoothly if u're both hapi. if u lurve each other. but i dun tink dat will eva b the case. it takes 2 to make tings work. but it onli takes 1 to destroy everiting. believing in lurve is not wrong. i tink its gd dat u haf someting to believe in. but afta all the pain dat u haf went thru, do u tink its worth to believe in tings dat u noe is not eva gonna hpn. naive. in denial. wateva. u went thru the pain. u went thru all the suffering. u wan wats bez for u. but thruthfully speakin, i dun tink its worth it. the pain, the suffering, the neva ending qns, the fights. wat else do u wanna go thru to make u open ur eyes n c. fam n frens r slowly disappearin. wateva said does not matter bcos of lurve. which is one-sided. pls. jus wake up.